I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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