omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
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