You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
