The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
The best revenge is premature balding
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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