they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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