I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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