The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
