Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
