sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
