I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
