i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
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