Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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