i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
