Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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