I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
