so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize