At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
