lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Soap is not a condiment
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I think a kid would responsible me up
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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