I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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