um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
