he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
