At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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