I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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