If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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