I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
After last night, I could never be a politician.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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