ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
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