idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I take back everything I said about communal showers
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I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
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What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
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