if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
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He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
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There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I need to sanitize my soul.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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