Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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