What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
