Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
