I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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