I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Randomize
