I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
