dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
