our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
