if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
