I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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