oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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