well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same