Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  True but thats because hes a fetus.

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  (212) True but thats because hes a fetus. http://tfl.nu/yw68
  Replies (6) Good night (670) Bad night (968)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?

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  (617): is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again? http://tfl.nu/0m4c
  Replies (13) Good night (2741) Bad night (635)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.

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  (773): Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up. http://tfl.nu/ll85
  Replies (7) Good night (6078) Bad night (1288)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.

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  (360): Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY. http://tfl.nu/nqby
  Replies (32) Good night (1894) Bad night (7633)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.

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  (201): St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany. http://tfl.nu/1100
  Replies (3) Good night (969) Bad night (2050)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.

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  (856): I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything. http://tfl.nu/b77d
  Replies (8) Good night (3914) Bad night (850)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake

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  (267): My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake http://tfl.nu/gq0m
  Replies (13) Good night (3553) Bad night (1353)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective

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  (630): He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective http://tfl.nu/wbyh
  Replies (2) Good night (1416) Bad night (764)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.

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  (+44): Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room. http://tfl.nu/d3jd
  Replies (5) Good night (1428) Bad night (602)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?

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  (703): I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK? http://tfl.nu/mw9u
  Replies (16) Good night (552) Bad night (2142)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh

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  (804): I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh http://tfl.nu/vuef
  Replies (0) Good night (490) Bad night (297)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.

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  (719): Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up. http://tfl.nu/uyof
  Replies (5) Good night (1503) Bad night (449)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.

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  (775): You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood. http://tfl.nu/925d
  Replies (8) Good night (688) Bad night (333)
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  (585): View more from New York

  You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start

  (585): View more from New York

  Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...

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  (585): You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start (585): Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea... http://tfl.nu/3df9
  Replies (2) Good night (518) Bad night (307)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college

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  (561): Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college http://tfl.nu/kc8a
  Replies (2) Good night (826) Bad night (335)

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