Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?