I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
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He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
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So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem