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• (845): View more from New York

  I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.

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• (806): View more from Texas

  That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.

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• (407): View more from Florida

  hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree

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  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.

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• (904): View more from Florida

  Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.

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• (910): View more from North Carolina

  K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.

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• (914): View more from New York

  And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.

  (845): View more from New York

  I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?

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• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (650): View more from California

  There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now

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• (312): View more from Illinois

  I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.

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• (206): View more from Washington

  I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go

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• (224): View more from Illinois

  What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!

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• (61): View more from Australia

  he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember

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