I pooped in a mop bucket.
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.