I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i just had sex bonerless
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Randomize
