yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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