I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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