Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
