you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
