I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
