Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
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I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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