I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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