Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
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Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
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I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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