I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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