ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
