u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
How naked do you want me to be?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
