grandma shit on top of the toilet
its not stalking. its research.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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