I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
