also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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