So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
