wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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