mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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