You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
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Can I color on your dick again?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
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Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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