I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
