i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
