Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Randomize
